If God Meant For Life To Be Meaningful

Why Did He Not Nuke America Before It Became This Unsalvageably Stupid?

Kevin “Home Alone” McCarthy (R-Word, CA), swishes a mouthful of jingoistic jism to freshen his breath while consulting with God’s gift to feminazis and Android-compatible vibrating butt-plug spokessphincter Elise Stefanik (R-Word, NY) while flashing the sorely swollen sphincter nestled in his brutally bashed buttocks at archrival Jism Jordan (R-Word, OH), during the fierce and frumious debate about which amorally apathetic asshole is better suited to steer this nation of miserable fucks onto the Reef of Recividness Madness to prevent the industrious majority of non-partisan Americans who could not give a fat rat’s booty about the poopadoodle that is politics from finally having any say in their hopelessly corrupt system of feckless falderol.

This is not just another #ExistentialTrickQuestion.

This is going to be on the final exam, assholes.