If Zappa Never Existed, Our Ongoing Stupidity-Enhanced Supply-Side Extinction Extravaganza Would Never Have Been So Much Fun Or Felt So #AltRight
I've Got My Cave. Go Find Your Own...
People keep telling me that not all Americans are so stupid that God created them with two assholes on opposite ends of their meaty, beefy, big, & bouncy acuity averse carcasses to spew the kinds of anti-intellectual and biological toxins required to make America great again, but I don’t believe them.
I don’t believe anything, and you shouldn’t either, but you don’t have to take my word for it. Belief is the key building block of authoritarian death cults. For example, take your preferred dicktastering religion.
Please.
I often wonder if my lack of sympathy for the consequences the willfully ignorant citizens of our nation of miserable fucks (NOMF™) continue to suffer as a badge of honor for their courageous commitment to sublime stupidity, signals a lack of empathy on my part, or if it’s an unnatural expression of my particular gene pool, but never for more than a few minutes.
There’s always another stupid American standing back and standing by to interrupt my contemplation, because if there is one thing the average patriotic American is committed to, it’s preventing others from enjoying even a moment of quiet self-reflection during which to engage in critical thinking.
We can’t have that. What if some of those other unapproved races happened to invade our thoughts or gender identity or if God prefers real meat to vegetable-based protein replacements? In Florida, you’d be in predictable shit. Even deeper in the anus of Texas.
To be fair to my fellow unintentionally ignorant citizens raised on #AmericanFamilyValues, the entire human species may be too reality-impaired to distinguish right from wrong at this point in #TheRupture, but I can only comment upon the idiots I was born among and have chosen to fuck with until I die.
I’m the kind of guy who asks if he needs to bring his own bullets to the next regularly scheduled mass shooting.
I suspect my gene pool is quite small and predates dancing to the fossil record. That’s why I am currently the only itinerant cave painter in contemporary North America fully accredited by the Asshole Anti-Defamation League to speak for every asshole on this continent. Fact check me if you like.
Time is made to be wasted, which is why God created Google.
Don’t blame me for stating the obvious. Somebody’s got to do it, whether or not we’re ever to dispense with #TheReaganLegacy of a failed supply-side plantation economy, tenuously propped up by a militarized community police state.
Not that it really matters.
Matter is simply the least interesting form of energy, which is why so many nations of miserable fucks on our dying planet of miserable lifeforms created by a thousand Gods and Their stupid dances have signed treaties stating that matter can be converted into energy, if only as a last resort, to protect us from those uppity barbarians swarming across the border in communal caravans, the result of countless wrongs that can never be put right.
Never.
That’s right. I will continue to say never, just as I have always said never, until I can never say never ever again, no matter how hard you assholes wish I would accept your silly whistling dogma for truth.