How Stupid Is Stupid Enough For This Nation Of Miserable Fucks?

Is There No Downside To Being Unable To Locate Your Own Pooched Out Succulent Sphincter Without A Support Staff And A GoFundMe Campaign?

Yeah, I tend to go overboard when pointing out how the alleged majority of this fine, fine, superfine nation of proudly ignorant belligerent white people with guns would be nothing if not for the grand gestures of the stupidest motherfuckers this planet has ever wasted its finite resources on, but when were the rubes and their preferred gods ever fair?

Hell, just take your favorite traditional Judeo-Christian supernatural tyrant. He forced His only Kid to commit suicide by Roman cop and then blamed it on the Jews, for Christ’s sake. No wonder His followers are such bloodthirsty Kochsuckers. They buy whatever you sell them.

That’s #TheAmericanWay.

Not saying I’m anything like God. I wouldn’t stoop that far. I happen to currently exist, despite my best efforts for more than three quarters of a century to prove I don’t, whereas He doesn’t, never did, and never will.

Ask Him, you don’t believe me. Better yet, text Him. Roaming rates may apply.

Whenever I wore an unmatched pair of socks to an important meeting back in the day, I was always the first to point out that these ugly socks were a gift from my sainted mother, and if anyone dared to soil the sacred memory of whatever her name was with the shits and giggles I would Google them and tweet things about them and their embarrassing gene pool not yet found in the fossil record.

How do you suppose the dinosaurs handled their looming extinction when told of their impending doom?

“I told you we should have voted Green,” said Dr. Diplodochus.

“That Green sheen hides a not really biodegradable reality some unwoke purveyor of Truth, Justice, and The American Way is about unveil as an NFT,” countered Supplysideasaurus Rex, an unpaid intern willing to take the kinds of risks that make anti-social media a viable alternative to our current pay-as-you-go reality show that passes for child-rearing.

“Is there no one to rid us of this feckless American deceptionalism?” said some regal unwoke common tater waiting to be peeled, sliced, and fried in recycled biodiesel to prove her commitment to whirled peas in our thyme.

Now here’s the real #ExistentialTrickQuestion for our meaningless times: “Who the fuck cares?”

Send me your answers and I will include them in my latest cave painting in ways that will keep the well-connected guessing until it is again too late to escape the latest plastic exploding inevitable.