The First Year Of Biraq's Obamination Was Particularly Ripe For Second Amendment Humor
Except For The Families Of Survivors, Of Course.
Second Coming Stopped By The Second Amendment
Published by drfaustroll at 9:02 pm under Insignificant Dingalings, Invective, Literary Terrorism, Pataphysics, Phynality, SEO, Second Amendment Roll of Humour
The Rapture was narrowly averted today in Phoenix when Tomàs Saint-Velasquez used his second amendment rights to put a .357 slug through the brain of Jesùs Christo as he attempted to feast on the flesh of Amanda Lovely during the worst outbreak of cannibalistic zombies in Arizona since Biraq Hussein Obama wrested the reins of power from the Fubar Administration earlier this year.
The former leader of the Diablo Disciples, Christo was killed during a drive-by second amendment expression last Friday outside The Chocolate Pilates following a food fight at the local Fuddrucker’s. According to Christo’s second in command, Pedro Piedra who spoke on condition of anonymity, “Christo was like too fucking mean to stay dead, mang, and he swore that if some fucking pendejo from the Romans or Ephesians or Corinthian Lords tried to cap his ass, he’d be back like Arnold in The Terminator to set things straight.”
Christo apparently killed and ate portions of two of his former posse, Andrés Clavado and Juan Exiliado, before turning his zombie woofness to Ms. Lovely. “We was lucky Tomàs knew what to do, mang, or the dude coulda eaten us all like happened with Mohammed and The Saracens over on the east side. That was mofo ugly, yo.”
In related news, police have taken several of the Diablo Disciples in for questioning, including Mateo Alanceado, Baldomero Aporreado, Felipe Empalado, and Tomàs Apuñalado. A body believed to belong to Disciples lieutenant Sìmon Atormentado was found tied to a stop sign at the corner of Goshen and Damascus with his genitals in his mouth.
Police are asking for help in locating Jaime Empedrado, Tadeo Machacado, and Julio Colgado who have not been seen since attending a symposium on the Bill of Rights on Friday evening.
"I'll be black."
--Curious George Sambo-Santos Schwarzenegger, "I'd Be One In A Minute If It Meant They'd Let Me Play A Congressman Again: Yet Another Proud Transracist For Trump"
i always love these public service announcements… jus love reading about the part of the 2nd amendment that we never hear or read about…