Trump Accuses Constitution Of Election Interference

"You Can't Deny Our Great MAGA Movement From Running This Country With An Amendment Protecting Thugs Over Property Owners," Trump Argues On Truth Social, "Whatever Happened To The Second Amendment?"

Our favorite twice-impeached, quadra-indicted fat former failed flatulent führer almost took to his vanity blog early this morning to push back against troubling reports that law-abiding citizens are demanding federal, state, and local officials enforce the Fourteenth Amendment prohibition against insurrectionists appearing on the ballot, calling it “electoral dysfunction.”

“First it was Russia, Russia, Russia, and then the disgusting pee-pee tape I never consented too, and one witch hunt or hoax after another, but it was really you they are after. They are coming to get you.

“First, they called you deplorable basket-cases. Ron Desanctimonious thinks your lipless wrestlers. They said you were corrupt.

“They said you didn’t mind a STOLLEN election,” America’s favorite asshole farted (Ed. Note: Posts on Truth Social are allegedly referred to by the woke mob, antifa, and the black thugs protected by the 14th Amendment as “farts.”).

“But I know you are mad as Shell and not gonna take it anymore, because that’s what I am, which is why I am doing this for you,” he continued in a post containing links to several fund-raising campaigns that he hopes he can reinvest in offshore accounts before the authorities finally enforce the laws already on the books against fraud and duplicity that he has been violating for more than half a century, even before becoming our baddest precedent.

You don’t believe me?

Good.

That suggests you’re not already a grunt in Old Rummy Reagan’s army of braindead miserable fucks.

My first words after holding on in my demonic mother’s womb for eleven months, hoping to be aborted until the very end of my gestation was: “I’m not believing any of this shit.”

Approaching 80, I still don’t believe anything.

What are you gonna do? Kill me?