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YU News Service's avatar

"A book? A book? Wasn't that one of those rejected judges for the U.S. Supreme Court that The Old Rummy nominated in 1987? He had that scraggly muff-looking beard or something, right? Or maybe I'm thinking of those cybernetic organisms that gave Captain Kirk conniption fits whenever he boldly went where no man had gone before. Except for me. Nobody in history has ever gone where I've gone. It's true. And everyone knows it's true. I'll take my answer off a duck's back."

--Princess Donald Jemima Trump, "Hanging With The Other Pussy Grabbers Inside Goofy's Kitchen"

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Doctor Faustroll's avatar

“Oooo! Oooo! I got this. Who is Bjork?”

— Bjork, “I Can’t Sugar Cube It Any Longer”

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YU News Service's avatar

"Nice guess, but no cigar. The correct answer is, 'What is a Bic?' When do I collect my prize?"

--Sean Bonnie Parker Pen Brothers-Grimm, "Writes First Time, Every Time, Up Your Ass"

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Doctor Faustroll's avatar

"OK, smartass. I'll see your Bic and raise you a Buick, something to believe in."

-- John Henry Ford Maddox Mad Axe, "Can Timex Really Take A Licking? Stories For When The TikTok Stops"

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"Oh! A wise guy, eh? Well I'll see your gas-guzzling Buick and raise you a fucking Bach Toccata and Fuggetaboutit in D minor. Beat that. Or beat it."

--Lorne Michael Jackson-Brown vs Board of Education, "Not In My Black Yard"

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