I'm Beginning To Suspect The Author Is Lying About His Whereabouts

This Sure Sounds Like Gov. Ronco Desantis (R-Word, FL)'s Idea Of How Libraries Work

Chapter 16

There are no books in the Palace, so there are probably few books in existence anywhere. The process by which books were produced during the last hundred years of civilization resulted in the disintegration of the paper on which the pictures and the words were printed. In rare cases, a book might last as long as an entire generation. During the thin years preceding the current ice age, most editions had a projected lifespan of 33 years, if the publication were immediately encased in aseptic shrinkwrap upon exiting the bindery.

The least important information in the Hall of Records is kept on microfiche. The Constitution of the United States exists only on microfiche since the great fire at the Library of Congress. The details of the Strategic Arms Limitation Talks, as well as Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Forrest Gump, and Martin Esslin’s The Theatre of the Absurd, are here also.

The People’s Almanac, the Bible, Love Story, and cubic miles of sports trivia are kept on microfilm. Film has better definition than fiche, is easier on the eyes, and is electronically encoded to assist in data retrieval. On the automated reader, film makes it a snap to find exactly what you want when you want it.

Information of average importance — medical texts, genealogies, exercise programs — is stored as slide/cassette tape presentations, while works judged to be just short of greatness are recorded on VHS videotape. Here are such gems as The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, Shakespeare’s plays, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Canterbury Tales, The Trial, The Myth of Sisyphus, and Chilton’s Guide to Computer Maintenance.

The most valuable data — both sensitive and routine — is stored directly in the volatile memory of Materex. Here one finds the bits and bytes of The Exploits and Opinions of Doctor Faustroll, Pataphysician freely intermingled with The Growth of the Soil, The Confessions of Aleister Crowley, The Peter Principle, and Cyrano de Bergerac.

—30—

Epilog In Media Res

It occurs to me that some straggler might want to read all of Trout’s Tale in its God-given order, assuming I live long enough to publish all of it. I guess I could start another stack and publish it in order there, but where’s the fun in that?

Instead, what I’ve currently decided to do is add this epilog as an index to previous posts in the order in which they were not written, but in the most recent order they have appeared in the Hall of Records. Links will become active as new URLs are generated.

Pataphysics is the science of imaginary solutions.

Trout’s Tale thus far…

Frontal Matter And Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33