As Uncle Hungry Chuck Bukowski Often Told Me: Time Is Made To Be Wasted. I've Wasted Years Of Mine Mocking The Second Amendment & The Nimrods Who Adore It As If Jesus Hisself Wrote The Damn Thing
"Guns don't kill people. People don't kill people. People die according to plan. It's a good and merciful God who puts us all out of our misery when and as He sees fit. That's simply the divine order of things. Don't you read your bible?"
--Jimmy Billy Graham-Cracker Corn, "And I Don't Care, My Master's Gone Away"
YU News Service interrupts this SubStack to bring you this BREAKING NEWS....
Trump pulled a gun today at his Pennsylvania rally and shot himself...The bullet ricocheted off Trump's comb over...Bright red-orange dye was seen trickling down into Trump's right ear...Trump then turned and shot dead two people in the crowd wearing blue "Biden 2024" hats....Trump pumped his fist in the air and screamed, "Diet Coke! Diet Coke! Diet Coke! "...Secret Service agents rushed Trump off the stage...Agents were then seen squeezing Trump into a waiting SUV and speeding off in the direction of the nearest McDonalds...
Trump campaign spokesvermin Steven Cheung released the following statement: "(Trump) is just fine. He successfully exercised his Second Amendment rights and is now experiencing complete immunity. Other than the usual dehydration, disillusionment and disinterest, (Trump) couldn't be in better physical and mental condition,. Such a brave and selfless act in defense of our national angst will undoubtedly help lock down the sympathy vote. Look! Over there! Biden is old!"
We now return you to your regularly scheduled SubStack.
"Guns don't kill people. People don't kill people. People die according to plan. It's a good and merciful God who puts us all out of our misery when and as He sees fit. That's simply the divine order of things. Don't you read your bible?"
--Jimmy Billy Graham-Cracker Corn, "And I Don't Care, My Master's Gone Away"
YU News Service interrupts this SubStack to bring you this BREAKING NEWS....
Trump pulled a gun today at his Pennsylvania rally and shot himself...The bullet ricocheted off Trump's comb over...Bright red-orange dye was seen trickling down into Trump's right ear...Trump then turned and shot dead two people in the crowd wearing blue "Biden 2024" hats....Trump pumped his fist in the air and screamed, "Diet Coke! Diet Coke! Diet Coke! "...Secret Service agents rushed Trump off the stage...Agents were then seen squeezing Trump into a waiting SUV and speeding off in the direction of the nearest McDonalds...
Trump campaign spokesvermin Steven Cheung released the following statement: "(Trump) is just fine. He successfully exercised his Second Amendment rights and is now experiencing complete immunity. Other than the usual dehydration, disillusionment and disinterest, (Trump) couldn't be in better physical and mental condition,. Such a brave and selfless act in defense of our national angst will undoubtedly help lock down the sympathy vote. Look! Over there! Biden is old!"
We now return you to your regularly scheduled SubStack.