"There you go again. Making a mountain out of a cornhole. Or something like that. Serious mistakes were made. But doing it with a pig has never been a problem for anyone here at the ranch. Mommy's been doing it for years. Maybe longer. I just can't remember. I also want you to know that I will not make pig fucking an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for sexual purposes, my opponent’s size and inexperience. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wallpaper!"
--Ronald "The Old Rummy Wrangler" Reagan, "It Only Takes A Minute Or Sixty Seconds At The Most"
"You think you're being cute, huh? I never fucked that pig in my life. I was set up. This whole section of the novel is rigged against me. I'll tell you who knows how to fuck pigs. You ever hear of Bill Barr?"
-- Rapid Ray, "My Life As A Backup Bartender In Those Glory Days Preceding The Current Ice Age: An Armoire"
"There you go again. Making a mountain out of a cornhole. Or something like that. Serious mistakes were made. But doing it with a pig has never been a problem for anyone here at the ranch. Mommy's been doing it for years. Maybe longer. I just can't remember. I also want you to know that I will not make pig fucking an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for sexual purposes, my opponent’s size and inexperience. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wallpaper!"
--Ronald "The Old Rummy Wrangler" Reagan, "It Only Takes A Minute Or Sixty Seconds At The Most"
"You think you're being cute, huh? I never fucked that pig in my life. I was set up. This whole section of the novel is rigged against me. I'll tell you who knows how to fuck pigs. You ever hear of Bill Barr?"
-- Rapid Ray, "My Life As A Backup Bartender In Those Glory Days Preceding The Current Ice Age: An Armoire"
"Hey! I live in a goddamn armoire now, okay? Don't knock it until you've tried it!"
--Princess Rudy "Disbar This" Giuliani, "The Erection Was Swollen"
“Rudy! You can’t stay in that armoire forever. That’s where I keep Donnie’s stollen erections.”
— Melania Haus Knauss, “How To Live a Happy Life With Your Eyes Nearly Closed”