One Day Wayne Trout Sat In The Bar Not Talking To Anyone

Don't Get Me Started On The Easley Fair And What Ming Toy Could Do With A Dozen Ping Pong Balls After A Six Pack Of Old Milwaukee

Chapter 14

One day Wayne sat at the bar not talking to anyone while the bar ached and yearned. During one of the aching periods, Ming Toy Epstein came in, sat down next to Wayne, and said: “Remember my boy friend?”

“Not really,” said Wayne, without looking up from The Greenville News.

“Well, he’s in the Peace Corps in Malaysia,” said Ming Toy. “He’s been gone for three months, so he finally writes me a letter. And what does he write me about? Some guy from Easley who fucks pigs in Traveller’s Rest.”

“Really?” asked Wayne, without a bit of interest.

“Yeah,” she said. “There’s this farm outside town where all they raise is pigs for people from Easley to fuck. You give this fat guy 25 bucks, and you can slip the sausage to any porker in the place. No restrictions. Except they don’t serve Jews.”

“Ready for another, Wayne?” Rapid Ray asked as he grabbed the empty mug. “I really have work to do,” Wayne said, “but…” he said, his voice trailing off as he slid Ray another quarter.

“Sounds really sick you ask me,” Ming Toy continued.

“You don’t say,” said Wayne.

“Sounds complicated, too,” she said. “You have to put this muzzle on the pig to keep her from biting and then you got to saddle her up. And then after that, you have to ease up on saddle and slip your feet in these, uh, these, uh, shit, what do you call them?”

“Stirrups,” Ray offered.

“Oh,” said Ming Toy, slapping Wayne on the back, “See? I told you he fucks pigs too.”

—30—

Epilog In Media Res

It occurs to me that some straggler might want to read all of Trout’s Tale in its God-given order, assuming I live long enough to publish all of it. I guess I could start another stack and publish it in order there, but where’s the fun in that?

Instead, what I’ve currently decided to do is add this epilog as an index to previous posts in the order in which they were not written, but in the most recent order they have appeared in the Hall of Records. Links will become active as new URLs are generated.

Pataphysics is the science of imaginary solutions.

Trout’s Tale thus far…

Frontal Matter And Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33