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"Give me just five minutes with this judge. Just five minutes in a locked basement. That's all I ask."

-- Elizabeth "Wild Bill" Cady Stanton

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Doctor Faustroll's avatar

"We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men and women are equally fucked up and fully deserving of all the things we shove up one another's poop chutes."

Liz Mantan McKuen

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"I resemble that!"

-- A Rod McKueball

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Doctor Faustroll's avatar

"We had joy, we had fun

We had seasons in the sun

But the hills that we climbed

Were just seasons out of time"

— Terry Jackscrew

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"Seasons in the sun, my ass. I know where all the goddamn bodies are buried, but I'm not talkin' until I get some kitchen privileges in this shithole. And let me tell you something else. If that motherfucker in the next cell don't stop singing that goddamn song about fuckin' tin soldiers, I'm gonna use his nuts for a pull chain."

-- Billy Giacalone, former sous-chef at Jimmy's Hoffabrau

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Doctor Faustroll's avatar

Oh Billy Jack

When are you coming back?

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YU News Service's avatar

I get out in ten years. Wait outside the gate with my Cadillac. It better not show any extra miles, either. And for Chrissakes, make sure the goddamn trunk is empty this time.

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